The White Room

(Originally journaled by me on 2003-11-15)

I just awoke from a dream in which I found myself in a room with two girls and two older women, all obviously related. The grandma (in her 50’s), mother, and two daughters. I was sitting across from them at a table in a white room with no door, high ceiling, and a ledge off to the right wall with a tall window. Words were written/painted on the window and there was some gimp-like creature up on the ledge.

I had the feeling of being kidnapped because I had no recollection of going there or how I got there. I was playing it cool however, inquiring casually thru conversation about where we were.

It seemed as if nowhere. When asking about the girls they could not remember the age gap between them and looked accusingly at their mother who just smirked.

They all had black hair. The sisters were hot, with kind large features (butt, boobs, teeth, nose, etc.). The grandma never spoke; nor the mom.

When I inquired how I knew them, the girl on the left smiled knowingly and said I used to work with her. This was after she used the word ‘grep’ in conversation. She asked me if I remembered the screen name “heart with an a” and I said it sounded familiar.

I was mildly attracted to her. I felt relieved to meet someone new. Thru more conversation she wrote some C code on a napkin and I inquired if she was going to school or was self-taught.

Things started getting weird. I think the other sister was jealous. Someone threw something like clubs or bowling pins at the gimp-like creature in the window ledge… It got pissed.

It shrieked and cursed. I felt a connection between it and the girl on the right. I think it was the mom that threw the clubs at the gimp.

I think the grandma eluded to the mom to do it.

For some reason I did the same and the gimp jumped up and down and hissed and jumped off the ledge.

The next thing I realized is that the gimp is the girl on the right. She is a prisoner somehow because of the mom. She is the bad sister.

She writes things on the windows and receives gifts from some godlike being. They are S.O.S. messages.

I find myself on the ledge trying to atone for throwing the clubs at the gimp. There are gold coins and I notice pillars of white in each corner of the room. The coins are gifts from the god to the gimp.

I start to feel immense sorrow and pain. I can’t move or think. I am overwhelmed. I am being attacked. I collapse in pain screaming and crying in depression and sadness. I feel her pain.

I wake up in a white room. I see no one, I hear no one, but I know I am supposed to escape. I know I am a prisoner of the bad girl. The good girl is trying to help me. She says the bad girl has all the keys but she took them, and is helping me unlock doors (not physically, the keys just appear and the doors open). I am running down a hallway with the same lighting and blue carpet. It is very surreal. I am terrified realizing I am trapped and trying to escape without really knowing why or how.

I fail.

The puzzle resets. It’s a game. I’m still trapped. I wake up FOR REAL.

I am lying in bed and I can’t move. My bedroom is lit like the hallways in my dream. I can see my hall from my bed. In the lucid state, unable to clearly see, I see the puzzle. It is moving and self-contained but I can’t figure it out.

I start waking up. I get up. I feel groggy. I walk out to see my friend Megan on the couch. REALITY. I’m still scared.

I go to the spare room and type “heart with an a” into Google.

Nothing relevant comes up.

I’m awake. But the dream was real. What the fuck was that!!

I know my room was similar to the room in the dream. The kitten was in the window ledge. Was she the gimp? I had thrown a pillow at her earlier before the dream because she was making a lot of noise.

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