Words ending with -cution are surprisingly similar!
a formal speech giving advice or a warning.
the skill of clear and expressive speech, esp. of distinct pronunciation and articulation.
verb [ trans. ]
a formal “speech” giving “advice”, esp. of “distinct” lightning bolts.
I don’t think that last one means what I think it means.
A bald, large-breasted bust mounted on a banana stand? I’m so confused! This is what meetings do to my mind.
Done with red, green, & black fine point Sharpies
So far this year, I haven’t been blogging much at all, so today I decided I’m going to start sharing my taste for “fine” art with the internet. At the very least I’ll be posting all of the random crap I doodle to fill the gaps between witty outbursts or technical diatribes.
Due to popular demand, mkdong has been modularized!! I present to you dong.py version 0.0.1.
MKdong turned into a module. I think I was smoking crack and/or high on Red Bull this day.
Dong goes into underpants
Dong goes into boxers
Dong goes into vagina
Sperm comes out of dong
Sperm goes into vagina
Sperm goes into egg
Dong goes into mouth
Pee comes out of dong
Pee goes into toilet
Why am I iterating this crap?
import os, sys
blue = '\\e[0;34m' # blue
def __init__(self, maxlen=40, color=blue):
self.maxlen = maxlen
self.color = color
self.dong = None
self.dong = '(_)/(_)'
for i in range(self.maxlen): self.dong += '/'
self.dong += 'D'
os.system('echo -e "%s%s"' % (self.color, self.dong))
def init(self, count=500):
self.count = count
return '' % self.count
print 'Tighty Whities lowered your sperm count!'
self.count -= 50
print 'Boxers raised your sperm count!'
self.count += 50
print 'Sperm count is %d' % self.count
print 'awwww yeahhhhh.'
if name == 'main':
donglen = int(sys.argv)
print "usage: mkdong "
if donglen > maxlen:
print 'warning: a %s" dong is too big! cannot be longer than %s"!' % (donglen, maxlen)
d = dong(donglen)
There's really no excuse. I should be ashamed of myself but I'm not.
I would so kill for some of this right now.
Strolled into work today at zero-dog-thirty, which I think translates roughly to “seven-thirty-four” in human terms.
Waltzed into the kitchen to make myself a bowl of Maple & Brown Sugar flavored oatmeal only to discover in horror and shock and also awe that there was nothing but Original flavor left! The place where there is normally an even distribution of each flavor was clandestinely filled with Original flavor by someone who I’m sure is of ill repute. As if I wouldn’t notice!
That’s when panic set in.
“Is there a plot against me?”
“Are they trying to get me to quit?!”
I checked all the cabinets, rifled thru the packets of Original and after doing that four or five times, concluded that if I was going to eat breakfast this was my only chance. So made myself the usual double helping thinking, “Ah, fuck it, how bad can it be?” How bad can it be indeed!
Please God, make it stop.
I proceeded to my desk, ate a big bite, and found that it’s like spooning mouthfuls of mushy, wet toilet paper into my face. Sustenance must prevail!!
No way can I do this. This shit sucks! Who eats this crap?! Because that’s what it is. Crap. I needs my maple & brown sugar!! But I’m so hungry… UGHHH…
This isn’t breakfast. This is punishment!